Life in Reverse
by JackiLeigh
Summary: A story inspired by reading "Betrayed." Enjoy.


LIFE IN REVERSE

Author's Notes: I was inspired to write this after reading "Betrayed" by subtleshadeofgrey. The author is not finished the story and was then, only on Chapter 8 of what, I assume, is going to be many more chapters. I also gave Tony some extra education. This is posted per 'Betrayed' author's permission.

This story is set at the end of "Betrayed", Tony and Tim have a long awaited discussion.

Tony strolled, well, not so much a stroll as it was a slight limp. Even after his painful physical therapy and all the rehab he had gone through. He had been told the limp would most likely be permanent. The human body can only take so much abuse. So, at any rate, Tony 'strolled' into the empty cafeteria. He selected a bottled fruit juice from the vending machine. He then made his way to one of the tables and sat. He propped his right leg up on one of available chairs. It still ached, two months later and it still ached. It was just a dull ache, for which Tony was grateful. But he figured by the time he turned 50, he would have one hell of an arthritic knee. He absently rubbed his knee as he sipped his juice.

It was his first day back to work. The first day he had had to see Trader Tim, Special Agent Timothy McGee. Or, as Tony called him these days, 'Little Leon' and 'Mini-Vance.'

The extent of McGee's betrayal was realized after Ziva and Abby got access to the car and gave it a thorough once-over. Director Vance had had McGee in meetings all morning. Vance was, no doubt, trying to minimize the fallout from his lapse in judgment of picking a protégé who was so unworthy of the office of NCIS Director. Vance had summonsed Gibbs to his office twice and even Ziva, Abby, Ducky and Jimmy had had their turns.

Tony had no idea what had gone on in those meetings, except for the fact that they had been fairly short. He had decided to go into the cafeteria and sit until someone decided to tell him what the hell was going on.

Tony had been deeply hurt when he had heard what had happened. Tim had admitted to driving the car. Tim had admitted to ignoring Tony's orders to slow down. Tim had told Abby that he had been wearing gloves. That was why his fingerprints had not been on the steering wheel, as Tony's had been.

NCIS

Tim finally got out of the meetings upstairs with Vance. He was still very uncertain about his fate. He had not been fired, as of yet, and he wanted to find Tony to see if there was any hope of salvaging their relationship.

Tim came into the cafeteria. He selected a Pepsi from the vending machine and sat down across from Tony.

"This place so full you couldn't find another seat?" Tony asked.

Tim looked around the room, despite knowing that they were the only two present. He considered his response carefully.

"I didn't mean..." Tim started.

"You didn't mean what? Tony asked angrily. He made no effort to hide it. He had been waiting for this confrontation for months. "You didn't mean for me to live?" Tony asked. "It's really easy to blame a dead man, Agent McGee. Gibbs wouldn't have even checked out the story. He would have been too upset. Abby...Abby would have been beside herself with grief. She wouldn't have questioned you either. And there you would have been..." Tony said, sarcastically. "...off Scott-free."

Tony paused, but didn't give Tim time for rebuttal. Tony ignored the look of shock on Tim's face.

"But, since I did actually survive the crash, you had to go to Plan B. And wasn't it just wonderful, for you, that I didn't remember what happened." Tony continued. "You could still blame me. You would get off Scott-free again. And they MIGHT even go easy in me, not that you cared about that." Tony said. "I mean, I was hurt worse than you. People would take pity on me for that. That went in my favor, and the fact that I couldn't remember anything. That was a double stroke of luck, for me." Tony paused and stared at Tim for just a moment. "I believed it when you told Gibbs I had been driving. I felt sorry for you." Tony struck the table, hard, with his fist and Tim jumped. "I felt bad, horrible guilt for causing you to get injured. But one thing didn't make sense to me. I couldn't understand why I would drive so fast and endanger our lives and pedestrian lives over such a low-level thug. I couldn't see it. I couldn't understand it."

Tim shook his head, but Tony continued.

"I always knew you had lofty dreams, plans for yourself. I knew that. I respected that. I really wanted you to succeed. Though, I must admit, I never thought it would result in a knife in my back or me being trampled under your feet. I just never thought you were that type of person, Tim. But then Vance started courting you, for lack of a better word, and you changed. You got more sure of yourself, which was good. But you also got cocky, and you got a huge superiority complex. You started to believe you were so much better, that you had outgrown us. Vance had built you up as the 'Agent of the Future.' And you had started to believe the hype. There was not stopping you. You could almost touch that brass ring."

Tony leaned back in his chair and paused for a second. "Let's face it. You needed to advance your career. You needed to be Senior Field Agent so you could show Vance that you were indeed 'moving up' in the world. I was going to be out of your way. Whether I died, or was injured so badly I could no longer do my job, was irrelevant. I was out of your way."

Tim shook his head again. Tony ignored him and continued speaking.

"Then, of course, you would be SFA for awhile, until you decided it was time to move up to Team Leader. All the while, keeping your eye on the prize, making sure you got to that director's chair by the time you reached your 40th birthday. Nice life-plan you got for yourself there, Little Leon."

Tony paused for a few seconds. Tim was speechless.

"Yeah," Tony said, leaning in. "...pretty smart for somebody with just a physical education degree." Tony sighed. "But, then I would have to be smarter than what you give me credit for to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time."

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

"I know the looks, Agent McGee. I have heard all the snide remarks. I heard them. Just because I didn't say anything doesn't mean I didn't. I get pain for and am good at observing, in case you forgot." Tony smiled. It was one of those I-am-about-to-blow-your-mind-with-my-secret-smiles. "You probably felt Ohio State was a little below your MIT-social-sphere. But I bet if you could hob-nob with a Harvard grad you would." Tony stated. "Well, I graduated from Harvard with a bachelor's and a Master's in Criminology. My GPA neve fell below 3.0 and I worked and played sports the whole time."

Tim's mouth dropped open. He couldn't help it. He just stared.

"I was and am very proud of my education. It has made me a better agent. But I've found that when you tell people you graduated from Harvard they are either happy for you and for your achievement, or they think you're bragging and consider you a snob. I used to tell people..." Tony tried to explain the answer to the question Tim wanted to ask. "But, my education aside, I treated you the way I did to toughen you up, to make you a better agent, and so that every time Gibbs spoke to you, you wouldn't piss your pants. I...I just never expected you to hate me for it."

"Tony..." Tim said, his voice pleading. "...I'm sorry." He could think of nothing else to say.

"I'm sure that you are, Tim. I'm sure that you are. I know that you didn't mean for things to end this way." Tony stated. "You expected to walk away from this with your reputation with Director Vance intact. You expected him to still want you to be his protégé. But what you are not sorry about is what you did to me. You're sorry you got caught, because if that had not happened, no one would have known. I still don't remember all that happened. I probably never will. You had a free ride there. You're sorry for YOUR career and YOUR reputation."

Tony paused. "I don't think you can understand what was like for me, to go from being scared you were dead to finding out you were injured, and thinking, believing it was all my fault. I didn't think you cared then. I don't think you care now. I was told I pulled you out of the car. There are marks where I dragged you, but I don't remember it. I do remember pain. I remember thinking I had to get to you before the car went over the cliff. I had to get to, to save, my partner."

"I believed, then, you would do the same for me." Tony said, standing up slowly, bracing his leg with his hand. "As much as it scares and saddens me to say it. I wish..., sometimes I wish I would have just left you in that damned car." Tony said looking at Tim before he turned and walked away.

THE END

LIFE IN REVERSE

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